Since I was a little girl, I began to afraid of growing up.

I don't wanna grow up, and I don't like imagining everything about growing old.

To the things are happening, I can control nothing. I just can stop myself from thinking about the things that scares me.

Death makes me frighten. Death means losing everything.

Not even the smiling death.

I don't wanna grow up. It can make things simpler with my simple heart.

With the reflections of what I used to be, no matter what the changeable world has showed to me, I can pretend that I don't understand. Then forget.

Maybe forget something, forget someone is not that difficult.

Like a child, when a gust of wind blows, I'm thinking about that if the wind is happy?

And I'll imagine about everything.

I'm addicted to daydreams.

Although every daydream is so unreal, I just like that. I like the daydreams without regret, without sorrow. And it'll never make me scared, it'll never hurt me. It's only a little heaven in my heart. It's the place will never be forgotten, it's a place will never discard me. There's no sad memories. They're the endless melodies.

Am I running away?

Am I just escaping?

There's no reason to something. Why do the people have to ask why?

Why do people have to give everything a reason?

Amelie is one of my favourite movies. It's beautiful, touching, romatic and charming.

Can we be like Amelie, to help the others generously?

Can we find the beauties from ordinary things?

In the end, everybody in the movie had found their happiness.

There's no bad guys in the world.

Amelie found her love.

Can I?

I began to telephone my best friends more often. I chatted with a_v for 44 minutes 2 days ago. And today we chatted for more than an hour. I have to practise to talk easily.

LT cares about me. I don't know if that's true, my friends told me that.

Last Friday we met again, with his friends. I didn't have a nice meal. But they seemed to like it.

He took me to the physics class. That was the second time we be with each other alone.

We talked. He was so close to me.

That was a wonderful time. I enjoyed being with him. But... well I don't know. Don't ask me. I don't even know myself.

Not love. Maybe.

I'm not going to keep in touch with him. I have to forget.

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved(?? well it's just MB's lyric...)

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall

I will lie awake

You're my shooting star